Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Arrrrrrgh! Heroes, why do you taunt me so?

That was.... underwhelming.

Pathetic. Boring. Uninspired. Lame... I'm actually too underwhelmed to continue coming up with adjectives for how tepid that "season" finale was. Tepid, yeah, there's one.

Leaving aside that Hiro parking Adam six feet under was the only remotely interesting thing in the entire episode (and that must have been a truly roomy coffin to fit all three of them, if only for a moment), the fact that Nathan's been "shot" - as in, "shot," not dead - and Nikki is merely missing means that once again Tim Kring and his half-wit cohorts fail to understand anything about drama.

It's OK if the heroes don't die. Really it is. Buffy the Vampire Slayer never died (OK, she died a few times, but it was always understood that she'd be back, what with the name in the title and all). Heck, Magnum PI never died and Gus Grissom will never die and, well, maybe everyone on "ER" will die, but we will long since have stopped caring.

My point is that it's fine that TV producers want to keep their star characters around, but in order to do that, you have to off someone else. I mean, with finality. Sylar? Bob? Adam? Mama Petrelli? Peter's dangerously slow-moving brain? Last I checked all of those villains were all still doing just fine.

Is Nikki really dead? We can only hope. I'm just assuming Nathan's not, because he's one of the only interesting characters on the show, which is all the more remarkable given than he's never had a single interesting thing to do.

That Nikki and Monica denouement would have been embarrassing on "All My Children," much less a primetime "hit." Sylar getting away was as predictable as the tides, and far less interesting. Nathan rambling for half an hour before getting to his point? I wanted to shoot him, too.

Nothing ever happens on this show. Ever! Sure, maybe nothing ever happens on "Two and a Half Men," either, but at least we get a couple yucks along the way. I'm not sure there's ever been a series in the history of television that spun its wheels as obviously and as futilely as this steaming pile of poo.

Kring wants us to believe that there are costs and consequences in his little fantasy world, but there never are. He wants us to believe that all of this is leading somewhere, but it never is. He wants us to care about his characters' fates, but there's no reason to.

I guess this was "Heroes'" Christmas present to me: Another 60 minutes to do something worthwhile on Monday nights.


At 4:28 PM, December 04, 2007, Blogger Warren Epstein said...

Does anybody else think this is overly harsh.?

Yes, I've been frustrated by some of the lack of much momentum or suspense. But it continues to get my imagination going, and the instant the show is over, I want to see the next.

At 7:28 AM, December 05, 2007, Blogger Eli the Mad (Beer) Man said...

Definitely overly harsh. Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed. ;)

I agree with Andy to a point. But then he kept prattling on... and on... and on - a tedious and overly long rant, much like Nathan's speech actually.

I've read several accounts of how this chapter ended. that it was concluded before it was originally supposed to, that it wasn't, that Kring made it so it COULD be and then did. It seemed rushed, that's for sure. But it's better then not having any closure I supposed.

It was somewhat boring... but it wasn't as bad as the actual "real" season finale last year. Where literally nothing happened. Come on... these are SUPERHEROES! BE SUPERHEROES! Use your dang powers!!!!

As much as you hate Peter, Andy... you should love him for the fact that he's about the only dude that actually uses his powers. Hiro actually uses his offensively in that finale. FINALLY! About time he does that to his advantage. Personally, I like Peter. Not sure where the hate for him comes from to be honest.

The Sylar thing... they need a new villain. I'm sick of looking at his Spocky mug.

It absolutely could have been better... by all means. But given the strike, we're lucky we got anything.

At 7:36 AM, December 05, 2007, Blogger AndyW said...

Speaking of rambling on...

For what it's worth, this was always planned as a half-season arc. The writing may have been rushed due to the strike (who could tell on this show?) but the outline was certainly in place. So don't give Kring a pass he didn't earn.

At 9:33 AM, December 05, 2007, Blogger Warren Epstein said...

I think the big problem with Sylar has been the mustache twirling.

When he's playing a con on the woman with the black eyes, he needs to be more "Talented Mr. Ripley" and cut out those sideways evil glances.


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