Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Terry's Bachelor recap

:30 - Oops. Just missed the first 30 minutes of tonights episode. My TiVo was recording "Heroes" and some documentary called "Sex and the City" at the same time. I guess its time to change my recording priorities so that my shows are rated higher than my wife's.

:31 - Managed to catch the last part of Bevin and Andy's date and it looked like it went well. When a dude is stroking a woman's thigh, the date went well, at least for him.

:35 - Andy and a few of the girls on a group date skiing at Lake Tahoe. I predict at least one crash and burn...hopefully. Too bad Bevin's not here to test here "bad" ankle.

:38 - Interesting conversation between Andy and Tessa about this whole crazy concept. I have to say that so far, this is the most realistic dating scenario of any "Bachelor" I've seen. Most of the women are understandably frustrated with sharing a guy and are treating this like its real (Ha!) . Well, except for Stephanie T. who's shaping up quite nicely as this seasons "woman most likely to kill her own mother to win a reality show".

:46 - Some nice gossip from Kate in the gondola filling in Andy with what could be rumors or the truth, I can't tell and neither can he. The lesson to be learned, never trust a beautiful blonde woman. Andy looks in over his head. Unfortunately for him he wants to believe everyone but it seems like he's trusting the wrong people. This show is displaying how confusing it is to differentiate between the women around for real reasons, women who want a trophy husband and women who view this as a competition. You know, just like dating in real life. If Andy has a brain, he'll just eliminate the drama queens.

:52 - On their one-on-one Tina asks Andy if he's high maintenance. Valid question. From my experience a guy like that (pretty boy, well educated, got a little bank) needs a lot of attention. Therefore, Andy is high maintenance.

:59 - Andy's one-on-one with Amber isn't going very smoothly. He's stressing about Amber because of all the crap put into his head by all the other women. The man can't tell which way is up and his brain is scrambled eggs. Haven't you watched this show before? Don't you know how some of these women work? Go with your gut dude!

1:02 - Amber gets a rose. After making out in a hot tub with him, he was almost required to give her one.

1:07 - Cocktail party time! Lets get some booze in these women and let the claws fly.

1:09 - Andy talking to Kate, its looks like his brain has finally kicked in as he has the "I believed you on the gondola yesterday but after sleeping on it I don't think I can trust you" look in his eyes.

1:12 - Kate saying bold faced lies and full blown BS gossip. She tells Amber that Tina said that Amber almost slept with Andy. Welcome back to "The Bachelor: The Middle School Years!"

1:15 - Tessa talks about leaving the show with Andy because the environment is ridiculously unnatural. She appears completely sincere, doesn't want to get hurt and doesn't want to be around if Andy is already sure about what he wants. She makes her point with honesty and without the spite and vengeance of most of the others. She is now my new favorite.

1:20 - Rose ceremony time! I may have missed the first half hour but I've made my choices. Lets get rid of Kate, she's a real wench. Lets also get rid of Nicole too, the whole painted on eyebrow thing is just disturbing.

1:24 - Whoa! Stephanie T goes home, I didn't see that coming. I guess the fake boobs popping out of the dress didn't work this week. Kate and Nicole are also out so it looks like Andy took my advice and got rid of most of the drama queens and women with fake nails.

So what did we learn from this episode? Because I'm a sexist pig, I could never be on the Bachelorette. The Bachelor yes, Bachelorette, no. I'm also the jealous type and hyper competitive. I'd be the guy version of Stephanie T and any woman would be able to see through it. I'd be gone in 2 weeks...Andy is starting to seriously stress. By the end of this season he'll be bald and have a face like a leather briefcase... There's no way Danielle (who I NEVER recognize when she's on camera) is 25, she's at least 30...Chris Harrison is really dropping the ball this season, his cliche to rose ceremony ratio is at an all time low.

Rating the Remaining Women's Chances
1. Tessa
2. Bevin
3. Amber
4. Danielle
5. Tina
6. Stephanie


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