I'd like to apologize on behalf of my hometown

Seattle, not looking so good last night on "Idol."

One, I'd like to note that it never rains that hard there (although this winter, Seattle's about the only place in the country where the weather has been as uniformly rotten as it has in Colorado).

Two, the majority of the people shown on TV were from places very, very far from the Emerald City (although Red was all ours, and, I have to say, I know people like that. They grow in the damp like mushrooms).

Three, nobody did Perry Como, "The Bluest Skies You've Ever Seen are in Seattle"? Even sung facetiously, that seemed like a no-brainer to me. And from July 5 to mid-September, it's usually more or less true.

On the show itself, I've heard people talking about how Simon's criticisms crossed the line (which line? Some line). The comments about the "bush monkey" and the "giraffe" seemed to go a little further than Simon's usual mean -- but always accurate -- cracks about their singing. I think people remember the good parts of past seasons and forget how rough the beginning can be. Simon's said worse things in the past, I assure you.