Buh-bye coffee talk?

Blabbing Mike seems to have pulled down the NewsBlab discussion board. Again.

What'd you nasty TV people say this time?

I will take this opportunity to remind you TV types that, last time Mike killed the board, I set up a Yahoo discussion group. As a public service, or something. Now, admittedly, the Yahoo group went over like a lead balloon (or an NBC sitcom). But hope springs eternal. So:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/coloradospringstelevision/

Hey, it's got to be better than sounding off in the comments here.

Pirate Master

Suh-weet: In addition to having the goofiest name ever, the new CBS reality show/Johnny Depp rip-off has Christian Okoye.

I know that doesn't mean much to most of you, but I remember when he was a running back for the Kansas City Chiefs. He had this one game against the Seahawks that's etched in my memory: They'd hand it off to Okoye and he'd run straight up the middle for 20 yards. Time after time after time. I think the Seattle linebackers were afraid of him - the safeties were making all the tackles.

I'm from Seattle, but fortunately I'm a Packers fan, otherwise that might have stunted my development. He set some kind of record that day.

Anyway, his NFL career was only like four seasons. I can't remember if it was because of injury, or because the rest of the league wasn't as slow and weak as Seattle's defense.

UPDATE: OK, now I'm even more in love with this show. One guy's profession is listed as "Scientist/exotic dancer." Because that's so much more respectable than an "Exotic dancer/scientist."

But the exotic scientist gets sent home. And he seemed to be the only one that was trying to be interesting. Eh.

The Test Dream

I was dreaming last night about "The Sopranos" finale. It was this long, drawn-out, predictably bloody denoument. I won't spoil the ending and tell you what happened. Anyway, I woke up a little. And then I fell back asleep and dreamt two alternate endings.

Which brings to mind a couple thoughts:

1. Talk about taking your work home with you.

2. Alternate endings are cheesy.

3. At least my dreams are ahead of the game: That series finale isn't until June 10.

House finale

"House" held its belated season finale last night and... meh.

It was actually a pretty good episode -- a Cuban husband and wife braving a storm to escape their Communist isle for the warm shores of America, just so they could get abused by Dr. House.

The finale of the finale, though, was bleh. All three junior doctors quitting (or I suppose Chase was fired as part of House's machinations to keep Foreman), felt forced and wasn't that interesting. I'm pretty sure all three are signed on for next season, so this is just going to be a plot wrinkle, not a real change to the structure of the show.

Like all procedurals, "House" has a heck of a time giving its characters any kind of growth or personal arc while sticking to the formula that made the show a hit. They keep teasing us with "Oh, House is really going to change this time," but then have to revert to form. Given how star-driven the show is (unlike, say, "Law & Order" and the like), it's an extra obstacle for the writers to overcome (well, they don't actually overcome, but they pretend they're trying).

Even so, it's weird Fox waited until after sweeps were over for the "House" finale -- it's the network's second-highest rated show, after "Idol." Were they really so intent on giving "On the Lot" (which blows) a big launch that they couldn't squeeze "House" in for sweeps? Silly.

Clone Wars sneak peek

LucasFilm released a 2-minute trailer of its upcoming "The Clone Wars" animated TV show (not to be confused with the low-res cartoon with a similar title). "Upcoming" in this case means 2009, so don't hold your breath.

http://www.starwars.com/video/view/000478.html

What can I say? The acting isn't any worse than it was in the movies. Nothing in there to get me excited, though.

Another day, another new newscast

So KRDO/Channel 13 is starting an hour-long noon news on Monday, June 4. Anchored, naturally, by Eric Singer - who will continue to do the morning news on KRDO radio, but is giving up "Good Morning Colorado" on weekends (KRDO is bringing back former weekend anchor Rebecca Stevens to helm the GMC weekend edition).

An hour-long version is an interesting twist.

Still to come, more newscasts from KXRM/Channel 21 and KOAA/Channels 5&30. Attention local newscasters: There is no news between 1:30 and 5 a.m. Stake your claim now!

Speaking of Singer, I had the odd experience of doing a radio interview with him yesterday morning while I was camping way up above the Arkansas River Valley, near Buena Vista. Talking about reality TV while taking in a view of the Collegiate Peaks caused a little cognitive dissonance.

Ponch and John ride again

Forget Memorial Day - the first season of "CHiPs" comes out on DVD June 5.
That ought to be a national holiday.

Fall season final ratings

The Hollywood Reporter has a pretty interesting chart of the final Nielsen figures for the whole 2006-2007 TV season.

'nother "Lost" Easter egg

http://losteastereggs.blogspot.com/2007/05/newspaper-through-looking-glass.html

Lots of speculation that the funeral was for a new character, someone we haven't met yet and won't like when we do.

This one was a big, fat kiss for all the zealots with HDTV's and Tivo's. Heck, I think they should have done about a dozen of these in the finale -- newspaper clippings, computer screen shots, reflections in windows, all that stuff. Give the fans something to chew on all summer long.

Last year, "Lost" did "The Lost Experience," which was sort of an interactive mystery set in the Lost universe, but not directly tied to the TV show's plotline. As far as I know, they're not doing anything like that (although with nine months until next season, they certainly have time to change their minds).

Local on Letterman

Colorado Springs artist Jason Baalman is headed to New York today for an appearance on "Late Show with David Letterman." Baalman is known for employing unusual media and for the appearance, he'll spend the hour painting Letterman's stage manager Biff Hendersen using ketchup as paint and french fries for brushes.

He's also supposed to be featured on CNN Headline News at 10:30 a.m. and 1:30 p.m. Saturday and Sunday.

The Mona Lisa thing above is another of Jason's projects.

More "Lost" thoughts

A lot to chew on in the finale.

I think the flash-forwards are like "Heroes" - playing around with different possible timelines. The other people here think it would be a total cheat if the future shown doesn't come true. The other question is whether the show will switch from flashbacks to flash-forwards in future episodes. That would be a nightmare for plotting, since the flash-forwards could never show what happend on the island until the island timeline caught there.

The consensus here is that Charlie stayed in the flooded room because that was the only way to make Desmond's vision of Claire being saved come true. Of course, Claire getting on the helicopter is certain to prove to be a very bad thing, so Charlie is going to die in vain -- except maybe for his last warning to Desmond. Did he know that? The room was already flooding, I think, so maybe it was too late for him to change his mind.

Hmmm.

I've been thinking about the Looking Glass hatch. Clearly, Ben is trying to cut off communication with the outside world. I think he sent the women down there recently - since the plane crashed. He also manipulated Locke to blow up the submarine and was less than broken up about the Pearl going. What was blocking Rosseau's radio transmissions for the last 17 years remains a tricky question. Clearly, the Others had communication with the outside world and clearly they don't anymore.

I think this all goes back to the boat. Those aren't Penny's people, but they know Des is on the island. Could be Dharma, could be other Others. I think figuring this out is the key to understanding where the story is going now.

Idol finale

I only watched the first hour of "Idol," because the outcome was a foregone conclusion and I wanted to get to "Lost." So I have no real thoughts other than, "Duh!" and "That song still sucks."

Feel free to chime in if you have something more profound to say.

Lost finale liveblogging

Ben gets another good line: "I'm going to talk them out of it."

And never leave a dentist to do a criminal's job -- why wasn't Kate doing the shooting?

Walt coming back? Totally badass. (The producers had said Michael and Walt would return in season 4 -- although I suppose this is technically more likely to be a manifestation of the smoke monster than a real Walt sighting. Still badass).

Hurley riding to the rescue in the Bus... not badass, but cool. Sayid going medieval on the other dude? Back to badass. And Sawyer doing unto Tom? Definitely badass.

There's 13 Others put Under so far, by my count. Jeez, how many are left?

The Charlie finale was stupid. He could have gotten on the other side of the door just as easily. "Heroes-esque" that. Plus, shouldn't he have at least tried to squeeze through the porthole?

I'm glad, though, given all the Others are dead now, that they're prepared to introduce a new set of bad guys.

How could they not see that radio tower from like the entire Island? And is that the most durable electronic equipment ever invented, or what?

And Locke shows up to save the day! Yippee. Or ruin the day, sorta hard to say at this point.

Hey-ho, it's a flash forward. Yippee. Jack's a whiny bastard in the future, too. (and you get a Golden Pass for being in a plane wreck? That's sort of twisted).

So who's in the coffin? Who's Kate have to get back to? Who's Naomi working for? What's Penny's deal? How much better will the show be with Charlie dead?

Not the greatest finale in the world, but the second half of this season was really, really strong. So, I don't think it was enough to grab the casual fan, but the real Losties should be chomping at the bit for next year. Just remember: Next year doesn't start until January, at the earliest.

On the Lot

Did anyone else bother to watch the premiere last night?

That was one very dull hour. I know there's a ton, many tons, of budding filmmakers out there, and maybe they found the mechanics of the plot pitch interesting, but for the average viewer, it was people gathered in hotel conference rooms -- not singing or being mocked by some British guy.

The key to this thing was the films. I know the shorts the contestants recorded were available online, but most people didn't bother to watch them (I only sat through a handful). The clips they showed in promos for the show - the skinny guy blowing up the alien starship is the one I remember - were pretty good. But we saw almost none of that last night. Instead, we got geeky film geeks talking amongst themselves.

Geeky, but not geeky enough to be interesting.

In the unlikely event that this show is going to find an audience, it needs to show us the goods, rather than focusing on the usual behind-the-scenes reality show schtick. These short films the contestants had to shoot in a single day had better be front and center next week, or audiences are going to yawn and head to the multiplex.

Idol finale

OK, not too many thoughts so far, except maybe Blake is doing better than I expected.

But I have to say something about that song contest winner. That is the worst piece of trite crap that's assaulted my ears in years. It's McSong. Inspirational music for idiots.

Anyway, that sucked... moving on.

OK, Jordin does the song the way it was meant to be sung. By that, I don't mean that it stopped being trite crap, just that she's doing trite crap the way it's meant to be done. Plus, she's gazing heavenward while she's doing, which is some sort of contractural requirement for these songs.

I think I called this whole shebang for Jordin last week. And there was no miracle tonight to make me change my thinking.

Finally, did Michael Jackson go to work at the Men's Wearhouse? That's the only explanation I can come up with for Randy's suit.

And hey, here's a random DAUGHTRY appearance (that's seriously how the band writes its name). Did they even bother to promote that? I'm a little surprised... it seemed like Chris D. was running away from "Idol" as fast as his combat boots could carry him. He's keepin' his bonafides with the eyeliner, though.

Terry's Bachelor finale recap

At last, Terry can fulfill his bachelor duties and return to his ordinary manly activities... like needlepoint and shoe shopping:

The Bachelor finale is finally here! Who will Andy choose?!? She's-just-not-that-into-you Tessa, or I-wish-could-quit-you Bevin?

Since Matt Meister took over the show last week, I watched the previous episode on abc.com and was obviously wrong by picking Bevin to go as "Dead Boyfriend Girl" Danielle got the boot.

A couple of other things I wish I had seen last Monday? The soft core porn between Andy and Bevin at the waterfall. Hearing Andy say he has "electricity in his soul" for Bevin (must be painful), Andy performing some sweet drunk hula moves, Bevin saying she "loves" Andy and a visit from Andy's best friend the Great Gatsby (sorry, I couldn't resist).

I'm surprised there's no reunion show. You know, when all of the rejected women get together and rag on each other and complain about how the Bachelor was a player. But I guess Andy's Opie Cunningham demeanor doesn't really lend itself to that kind of show. Anyway, my prediction for tonight - Bevin. After watching last nights episode, I have to say she was impressive.

Enough chit, chat. Lets get it on!

:02 - Chris Harrison during the 5 minute recap, "It's the most romantic season finale ever". Chris still has the gift of hyperbole. The only guy I can think of who has a greater gift for exaggeration is Don King.

:04 - During the short recap of Bevin's "journey" to the final two I noticed she has quite a few tattoos. One on her leg, one on her shoulder and of course, the target on her lower back. I never noticed those before. Is she too much of a wild child for Andy? She suddenly looked like a bit of a party girl. I'm starting to question my choice.

:06 - I fell asleep during the Tessa montage. She's monotone and boring. But so is Andy, so maybe it's a match made in Boringville, PA.

:08 - Andy at home in Lancaster, PA where we meet grandpa, grandma, his sister (who looks like a dude) and his parents. Dad and grandpa are balding, something the women might want to take into consideration.

:15 - Tessa visits Lancaster first. Mom comments on how beautiful Tessa is and says "I was drawn to her right away". Is there something about Andy's mom that Dad doesn't know?

:18 - Tessa stumbles on the "Where do see yourself in 5 years?" question. The correct answer whenever asked that question on this show - married to the Bachelor and knocked up. Know your audience! Play the game!

:26 - It's Bevin's turn. Tough for her going after Tessa and her strong performance. At least she came with flowers and the family has been drinking all afternoon.

:28 - Grandpa taking notes when Bevin mentions that she's studying libido in women going through menopause. Judging from Tessa's visit, Andy's mom has no problems with that and is not a candidate for Bevin's study. Strike one for Bevin.

:30 - Grandpa hits Bevin with the religion question and Bevin says she was raised in the Bai Hai faith. I think I had Bai Hai at a Tai restaurant once. Strike two for Bevin.

:32 - Bevin redeems herself when she's questioned by the sister, the mom and grandpa. She says all the right things and seems more relaxed (and thankfully no one asks her more religion or sex ed questions). Mom even mentions Bevin's beautiful eyes. Hey mom! Would you mind NOT hitting on my potential wives?

:37 - The women are gone and now Andy is doing what all men do when trying to make a big decision - asking his family for advice and thinking things through. Ha! The results? Mom votes for Bevin, Grandpa notices that Andy gets "turned on" by Bevin (creepy), the sister seems to like Tessa (probably because they both look like dudes) and dad and grandma just sit and listen. This of course, leaves Andy (and us viewers) more confused than ever. The lesson? Never ask your family for advice on love.

:48 - Back in Hawaii for one last date with each woman. The last chance for the women to sleep with Andy to earn his vote. Chances Bevin sleeps with Andy? 95%. Tessa? 2%

:57 - After a day of helicopter sight-seeing, we cut to the evening where, as Chris Harrison says, "Bevin lays it all on the line" and tells exactly what I think Andy wants to hear. If she doesn't get picked she will be CRUSHED. The looks and the way Andy kisses her looks different, it actually looks real. Now I'm certain he's going to pick her. At least until the Tessa date.

1:02 - Bevin tells Andy that she loves him and the dude looks like he's about to cry (wuss). He then tells her that he loves her. This contest is over! Get the wedding invitations ready.

1:04 - Andy leaves, Bevin gets no action, leaving Bevin and the audience disappointed.

1: 08 - Tessa's turn. He might as well send her away. She has a snowball's chance in Phoenix of winning this guy.

1:11 - Horseback riding, swimming on an isolated beach and a few Corona's still aren't doing it for Tessa. Andy's just not getting the same kind of intensity with Tessa as he did with Bevin. It's like Tessa is still in the early dating stages and Bevin is ready for something substantial. The conflict for Andy, as I see it, is that he sees Tessa's potential but worries about Bevin's fire burning out. This week's Bachelor strategy is sponsored by match.com.

1:17 - Tessa has Andy over in her hotel room for an evening of shrimp cocktail, rum and cokes, and champagne. Strangely enough, that's what I have every time I watch this show.

1:21 - Tessa tells Andy she's falling in love with him ("I frickin' love you" is always the best way to say I love you the first time). He says it but not with the same conviction as with Bevin. Too little too late Tessa.

1:29 - Its the big day and Andy, stressed out about his decision says, "I could propose to two women today." Only if you lived in Utah Andy! He must have watched too many episodes of "Big Love".

1:35 - The final day montage is over mercifully over. I'm going to stick with my pre-show prediction, its got to be Bevin. Tessa made a late run to make things interesting but when it comes down to it, I bet it wasn't as close as those clever ABC editors are making it look. Bevin it is, or I'll give you your money back.

1:40 - Uh, oh. Bevin comes out first, this doesn't look good.

1:42 - A very awkward and painful-to-watch rejection from Andy. I'm stunned. He keeps telling her all these things that are a complete contradiction to what he's doing. Andy's going with the safer bet. His conservative nature is what's driving him to Tessa. I can't believe it - from what I've seen it makes absolutely no sense.

1:46 - I feel horrible for Bevin as she's driving away. She didn't see it coming and was completely blindsided. This is the worst part of the show, watching someone who's emotionally committed in the final two get kicked in the stomach. Yuck.

1:52 - Tessa's about to get the final rose but after the Bevin breakdown, its incredibly anti-climatic. Neither Tessa or Andy show any real emotion. Tessa doesn't even cry when Andy proposes, what kind of crap is that?!? Maybe he did picked the right one, because neither one of them seem all that excited about all of this.

1:56 - The sun sets, Andy and Tessa smooch and the damn "Officer and a Gentleman" plays yet again. I'm now projectile vomiting all over my television set.

Wow...wow, what a disappointment. The creative editing on this season screwed viewers over because it sure looked live Bevin should have been the choice. What didn't they show us? Was reserved Andy turned off by Bevin's passion? Was Bevin's divorce a deal breaker? I just don't get it. Seeing Tessa and Andy together does make sense because they are both conservative, quiet types.

Maybe Bevin's wild past was more disturbing for Andy than we realized. I'm confused. I'm grasping at straws here.

Hopefully tomorrow's "After the rose ceremony" show will shed a little more light on things but for right now, I'm Bachelored out.

Heroes finale

Huh. I was pretty much digging the finale... up until the finale.

Other than brotherly solidarity, what was the point of Nathan sacrificing himself? How does that work better than Claire's bullet?

As the final Sylar scene showed, in true comic book form, nothing is ever final. But still, you have to judge "Chapter 1" on its own merits. And on those merits, it fell short. Felt rushed. Hiro vanquishing Sylar felt anti-climatic.

HRG walking through a firestorm to plug Peter with a bullet just as Hiro slices and dices Sylar, now that would be cool.

I know with these serials, there's an inevitable tendency to disapointment when the show reaches its payoff. But still: A little more of a set piece with Sylar, where everyone throws everything they have at him and he shrugs it off for a few minutes 'til Hiro's arrival, that would have been cool. I mean, we know the good guys are gonna win, so give us a big finale.

Molly's final wishes for Parkman ensures he won't die. Nobody dies after a little girl wishes for them to live. And D.L. is hardly going to take a turn for the worse after walking out of the building.

Looking further ahead, the teaser for next season was weak. Hiro, ancient Japan. Get it. Don't care (or rather, it would be a cool concept inside the framework of season 2, but it doesn't introduce any useful pieces of that framework on its own).

Re-doing the Sylar plot line right away would be incredibly lame, so I'm assuming Season 2 will be a mix of Ma Petrelli and Molly's mysterious "Man who can see you seeing them." That was the biggest, fattest foreshadowing I've ever heard. Beat me over the head with a club, why don't you.

Don't mess with Tulip

"Extra" is reporting that Paula Abdul broke her nose over the weekend as she tripped trying to avoid her Chihuahua - Tulip.

Proving once again that in tiny dogs lurks giant evil.

Should add some fun to the "Idol" finales.

Here we go!

It's the last week of sweeps and the last week of the TV season. From here on out, it'll be "National Bingo Night."

Brace yourselves.

In the meantime, enjoy the series finale of "Veronica Mars" tomorrow night, the final night of Apolo Anton Ohno strutting on "Dancing with the Stars" tonight, the "Idol" finale, the "Heroes" finale, the "Lost" finale (the finale this, the finale that).

I haven't a clue what I'll be writing about after Wednesday.

Office finale

Another pitch-perfect "Office" finale.

Actually, this episode had a much higher cringe-factor than most of the episodes this season -- Michael passing along his "coded message" to Jan's assistant comes to mind -- and it was meaner, too. But how can you beat Jim popping in on Pam's interview at the end? Or the kicker with Ryan. That had me dying (but are they really hiring a temp who's never made a sale for Jan's job?).

Just really solid comedy throughout. The boob job was one of the funniest sight gags in recent memory - I am so ticked there are no photos on the NBC site. Kevin's list of Pam and Karen's attributes, Dwight painting the office black, Michael playing "Thank you" on the voice recorder.

And then the emotional element. I just about bawled myself when Jim started tearing up seeing Pam's note in his sales figures.

Looking forward, I'd argue that the producers can't backtrack from here. No more "Friends-ish" will they or won't they Jim and Pam coupling. They have to go forward and deal with the Karen repercussions (and, naturally, the Jan-Michael repercussions).

Also, the "Scrubs" finale: Funny episode, but the main characters are growing less and less likable. I'm more on Kim and Keith's side than Elliot and J.D.'s.

Best of...

If you didn't get through the paper this morning, the Gazette's annual Best Of section came out today.

You can find complete listings at our Web page, and you'll find the complete list of TV and radio winners in the City Life section.

But here's the quick rundown:

Radio personality - Tron Simpson, KCMN (1530 AM)

Readers' choice - Capt. Dan, KKLI (106.3 FM)

Radio station - KKPK (92.9 FM)

Readers' choice - KRCC (91.5 FM)

TV news station - KOAA/Channels 5&30

Readers' choice - KOAA

TV repoter - David Nancarrow, KKTV/Channel 11

Readers' choice - Tak Landrock, KRDO/Channel 13

TV anchor - Jon Karroll, KRDO/Channel 13

Readers' choice - Lisa Lyden, KOAA/Channels 5&30

Consumer reporter - Betty Sexton, KKTV/Channel 11

TV news hottie, male - Mark Hanrahan, KOAA/Channels 5&30

Readers' choice- Matt Meister, KRDO/Channel 13

TV news hottie, female - Christina Salvo, KXRM/Channel 21

Readers' choice - Georgiann Lymberopoulos, KOAA/Channels 5&30

Laura Emerson update

From time to time, I still hear from readers wondering what's up with former KRDO/Channel 13 anchor Laura Emerson. Well, here's an update in the Toledo Blade.

Idol

OK, I held off on posting "Idol" thoughts because "Lost" was so much more interesting.

I more or less predicted Melinda would walk at this stage, so there wasn't much suspense in seeing her walk. My wife and I were actually out and about and got home at 8:55 p.m. Perfect!

I don't know how I feel about it, though. I sort of respect that Melinda was true to herself instead of trying to squeeze into a pop star mold. On the other hand, she auditioned for "American Idol" -- she knew what she was getting into and if it wasn't what she wanted, she could have pursued a singing career some other way.

The downside is that this sets up the most boring final in "Idol" history. Jordin is going to squash Blake like a bug.

Lost recap

There are rules on this here island:

1.Ben is lying.

2. Sayid is always right.

3. Don't mess with the Honolulu police.

4. Your father? He sucks.

and, for God's sake Charlie,

#5 - THERE'S ALWAYS SOMEBODY IN THE HATCH!

Jericho heads off to that big mushroom cloud in the sky

CBS pulled the plug on "Jericho," the once-promising serial that never recovered from a long midseason break.

I hated the show, so I'm dancing a little cancellation jig right now, but I'm sure Gerald McRaney is distraught.

Idol

Really interesting "Idol" tonight, strategically speaking.

Not the performers, the producers.

Tell me they weren't setting up Melinda for the upset boot. Sticking her with the Ike and Tina Turner joint, which was both old and played to her worst instincts, while the other two got more modern songs. She's proven she can be good, if she's not allowed to play to her comfort zone.

I thought all three's first performances blew and the judges' praise must have been Fed-Exed in from Mars.

More importantly, I really think you saw tonight that Jordin is the only one of these three with genuine star potential.

Melinda, too old. She just has nothing new to bring. Not one thing.

Blake, too self indulgent. Well, that and using smart choices to cover up a limited range. Away from Idol, he could maybe come up with a one-hit wonder, but that boy isn't built for the long haul doing anything other than producing for someone else.

Speaking of Blake, I told someone at work the other day that Sir Mixalot was from Seattle -- it was in a conversation about hamburgers -- and they were just shocked. But there you go. My posse was always on Broadway. Gimmee a Deluxe and fries, baby. I got two bucks and expect some change.

Oh I miss that.

"Bachelor" repeating

KRDO/Channel 13 bumped the end of last night's "Bachelor" episode for storm updates, but they'll be repeating the episode at 3:30 p.m. Saturday.

And, if you don't want to watch then, SPOILER ALERT:






Danielle got sent packing.

Evan Almighty all done

KOAA/Channels 5&30 morning news anchor Evan Michaels is leaving for the bright lights of Sacramento. He's been with KOAA since 2002. In Sacramento, he'll again be the morning anchor for Fox affiliate KTXL/Channel 40.

“I loved it here,” Michael said. “I wouldn’t have left if it wasn’t just a great opportunity.”

Michael's last day will be May 23.

KOAA already has a replacement on the way: Adam Atchison will start in early June. Atchison comes from KTVB/Channel 7 in Boise, Idaho. He’s a Colorado native and a Colorado State University grad.

Terry's Bachelor recap

Monday night, Bachelor night.

Not the best night for drinking but it's a requirement for watching this show.

Let's recap where we are up to this point: Andy has gone through 25 women like Donald Trump goes through hairspray and is now down to 3. The finalists? A divorcee (who also probably has a kid or two that she forgot to mention), an Easter Island Statue model and a 35-year old who isn't quite over her dead boyfriend are what Andy has to choose from. Last week Andy visited the bachelorettes hometowns and now its the remaining girls turn to see where he lives. Crummy weather, lousy sunshine and terribly bright blue skies, Hawaii. I lived in Hawaii for 3 years (my dad was in the military) so I'm hoping to see the typical sites most tourists expect - hula dancers, surfers, famous Magnum P.I. locales and Bobby Brady getting jinxed by a tiki idol.

:03 - Andy "back home" in Hawaii. I thought he was from Pennsylvania? Now who can't be trusted?!? The show starts off with Andy dressed in his white Navy uniform greeting Bevin at the USS Arizona memorial. Nothing gets a date more excited than World War II history. I think I missed the part where he explains where Ben Affleck and Josh Hartnett filmed their "Pearl Harbor" scenes.

:08 - Andy now welcomes 35-year old Danielle (who again looks totally different, this woman is a chameleon) to the USS Arizona. My wife points out the military music in the background and I finally catch on with the theme of what's going on after Tessa comes out. Andy's giving the women a taste of what Navy life would be like if the women married him. You know, lots of underwater cemetary tours.

:15 - Andy on Kaui (where "Lost" is filmed) having an "exotic" date with Tessa which includes zip lining, bridge crossing and moderate drinking. During the night, The Others show up and drag Tessa away making his final two selection for him.

:18 - Hey Tessa? What do you do if a shark attacks you? "You punch it in the face!" she tells Andy. The Amazing Tessa - social worker, Andy tease, shark bully.

:25 - Andy, dressed as John Travolta from "Saturday Night Fever", offers Tessa the chance to stay in the Fantasy Suite with him tonight. "Fantasy Suite" is Bachelor slang for "Andy wants to get some action and we need a ratings boost so please go with him because your virtue is irrelevant". Tessa says yes?!? What about the previews that have been airing for a week where she hesitates?!? What happened to that?!? I've been duped by some clever ABC editing.

:28 - I'm disappointed by the "Fantasy Suite" as Andy and Tessa walk through it. It just looks like a normal hotel room. With the exception of the flower petals on the bed, it looks like the Kaui Holiday Inn. Where's the stripper pole? How about some velvet paintings, a mirror over the bed, or one of those hanging chair thingies?

:31 - Danielle and Andy going out on a boat and I've decided that since, once again, I don't recognize Danielle that she doesn't exist. She's played by a different actress every episode.

:33 - While dolphin watching on the catmaran Danielle breaks the reality TV record by saying "Oh My God" seven times in 45 seconds.

:35 - Cue pensive music, wait for it...wait for it...YES! Here comes another dead boyfriend conversation. Wasn't this in college for you Danielle? That was at least 14 years ago for you right? Get over it! After all, the psychic told you he wasn't the one anyway.

:36 - Another "Oh My God" from Danielle as the sun sets and the "Officer and Gentleman" theme plays in the background. I just threw up in my mouth a little.

:38 - Matt Meister from Channel 13 working his tail off with his THIRD weather update for the night. Good job Matt!

:40 - Andy puts Danielle to the test as he brings out his psychic friend to deal poker for the two of them. Danielle believes every word Miss Cleo says which can only lead Andy to one conclusion - Danielle can be easily manipulated.

:44 - Fantasy Suite offer for Danielle. Which is the Bachelor producers way of saying, "Hey Danielle, why not prove to Andy you're REALLY over your dead boyfriend by staying the night with the bachelor?"

:46 - 1:30 - Gaah!!! Chief meterologist Matt Meister kicks Andy off the air and leaves us all hanging until ABC loads up tonight's episode on abc.com sometime tomorrow. Since I can't sit through another 7 episode reloads on abc.com (that's what you get for something that's FREE) like I had to do the last time I watched The Bachelor on their website, I'm going to make some predictions now, even though I didn't get to see the Bevin date.

Prediction #1 - Bevin is sent home. The dates I saw with Tessa and Danielle went way too well, there's no way Bevin could match them. Going last after two successful dates puts too much pressure on her and she starts to feel desperate, something that scares men to death. She really blows her chances by "accidentally" telling Andy about the kid she had at 15 that she gave up for adoption, her unusual addiction Elmer's School glue and her 1999 arrest for stalking David Letterman.

Prediction #2 - In tonight's rose ceremony, Chris Harrison lost count of how many roses that were left to be handed out and leaves a confused Andy Baldwin staring at a rose-less Bevin for a very uncomfortable 45 minutes.

Prediction #3 - Matt Meister set a new record for most consecutive minutes of air time by a local TV weatherman.

Didn't I throw you out a window?

Another pretty great episode. D.L. gave Mr. Linderman a terrific death scene... unless he can heal from having his brain ripped out. Bwa-ha-ha-ha!

Good stuff with the various Petrellis and even Parkman got to be a leetle bit of a badass.

Sweet scenes with Hiro and Mr. Sulu. Loved that look Hiro gave him when Sulu went all samurai.

So how do you think it will end? Will Sylar live to drive another season-long plotline? Or will Peter rip his brain out. Bwa-ha-ha! (UPDATE: I'm totally pissed there isn't a photo of that on the NBC press site).

Actually, if they off Sylar next week, Tim Kring and Co. will really be starting from scratch next fall. HRG's boss is down, Linderman is down... Sylar's the only nefarious type left roaming these streets.

Deadliest Drive

I just got the weirdest press kit for a new History Channel show called "Ice Road Truckers." Actually, the press kit isn't that weird: A toy semi truck and a splashy brochure on the show. But what a weird show. It seems to be a rip-off of Discovery's "Deadliest Catch," because it's about the most dangerous trucking job in the world. Which is apparently delivering supplies to diamond mines in Canada over frozen lakes.

I can see how getting footage of a semi truck crashing through the ice would make cable TV execs swoon, but the concept seems to lack the natural drama of "Catch." Crab fishermen are contending with the unrelenting sea, but they're also chasing crabs, ringing up dollar signs, dealing with sleep deprivation. What are ice truckers doing, other than shifting gears and getting paid by the hour?

And how the hay does this fit in with the History Channel?

I'll try to watch it this week and report back.

Crossing Jordan RIP

Some will rise and some will fall.

Incidentally, TV Guide is disputing the NY Times' report that "Scrubs" is gone.

The trade press is full of conflicting reports about what's coming and what's going. Don't trust anything you read in the next few days... unless I'm writing it, naturally.

The Panthers win! The Panthers win!

Friday Night Lights is coming back for season 2!

It's Christmas in May, people.

And, as always, if you don't watch and love this show you are a heartless slug who will end up in a mass grave on a mysterious island. OK, that was a little harsh. But FNL is coming back and it's time to jump on board this bandwagon.

More Lost

There was a lot to chew on in that episode. After studying the screen captures over on the Lost Easter Egg Blog, I'm convinced the shadowy figure shown was Locke (with a wig, apparently), but there was also a split-second image of an eye, and the eye looks like Desmond to me. Circles within circles, people.

Few other thoughts:
- Mikhail and the Others didn't seem to know anything about the chopper pilot, so her story seems to be true, rather than a ruse.
- I'm betting we don't see Locke again until next season. I think it will be beach action the rest of the way.
- As that implies, I'm also betting Locke is very much alive, despite being shot and lying in a mass grave.
- So what happened to Ben's little girlfriend? She's pretty clearly gone by the time he offs his father. Did he knock her up at some point and thus begin his obsession with fertility studies?
- Why does Dharma continue the food drops?
- Obviously, what's up with Richard not aging and the "Hostiles"? My guess, the Hostiles did a time warp and came back when Ben was older, hence the whole thing about "a lot of patience." Tricks with time are clearly a big part of what's going on on the island.
- Oh, and my prediction is that the ring of material around Jacob's hut is gunpowder. Don't know what that means, but I'm pretty sure.

Help Me

Definitely a "wow" episode of "Lost" last night. We actually got some answers - where Ben came from, how Dharma and the Others are related, and what Jack and Juliet are up to besides making moony eyes at each other. And did anyone else think last night was scary in a "Blair Witch Project" kind of way, but better?

"Help Me" - those were the two words that, as producers had teased, would change Locke's course on the island forever. And if by changing course they meant dying, then OK. But is he really dead, just as I was starting to like him? Or will Jacob/the island save him?

The scene in Jacob's cabin was pretty defining. At the office this morning there was talk of seeing a glimpse of Jacob just after Ben is thrown from the chair and we were forced to go online to check it out. Sure enough, he is there. Check your DVR if you don't believe me.

If the next two episodes are this good, I might be able to extend my loyalty to February '08, which is when the next season is slated to start.

-Posted by Carmen Boles, deputy news editor, for Andy Wineke, who has the day off

UPDATE: Hey! I totally did not have the day off. I worked 12 hours today. Admittedly, 12 hours hanging in the sun in the southeast corner of the state, but it was on the clock.

150 Mbps? Remember when we were thrilled with 56K?

This is only tagentially TV related, but the cable industry announced today a new modem design that will allow 150 megabits per second downloads. If you have Comcast high-speed Internet, you'll already have your skeptics hat on: There's usually a pretty wide gulf between what a modem is capable of and what it really delivers.

But whatever. When this arrives, it'll be a big step toward the inevitable TV future, when all programming will be downloaded or ordered on demand. What that means for broadcasters is very much up in the air (it's also a useful reminder that it's not just newspapers that are sweating our changing information economy!).

Lost spoilers?

From Entertainment Weekly's weekly "Lost" obsession: ''Locke will hear two words tonight,'' says Lindelof. ''Those words, and the fact that he hears them, will change his course on the island forever.''

What words? I suggested, "Get bent." Another co-worker said it must be "You're him," or "You're Jacob," implying that Locke is somehow the secret leader of the Others. (Setting aside whether contractions count, there is apparently no new actor listed in tonight's credits, which implies that Jacob is either not real, or someone we already know).

Terry's Bachelor recap

Ooops! I missed the Bachelor last night. Evidently my Tivo is smarter than me as it chose to record Heroes and The Riches instead of the trevails of Andy Baldwin and his bevy of babes. Good thing abc.com shows them for free. I'll have to talk to Tivo about not following orders.

:02 - Another painfully long recap of what's happened up to this point. Of course they get longer as the show has more episodes. Are these really necessary? Is someone out there thinking "Hey, I missed the first four episodes of the Bachelor. I hope I can catch up!" Only losers like myself.

:03 - "Four women, three roses...who's dream of marrying an officer and a gentleman ends tonight?" Yes! Our first Chris Harrison cliche and we're only at the 3 minute mark! I have high hopes for this episode. Wouldn't it be great if Chris narrated your life? As Terry stands at the beer cooler at Cheers Liquormart...(dramatic pause)...he faces the most difficult decision of his life!

:05 - As Andy reviews the 4 remaining women he carries on about how great Tessa is and how she is someone he wants to "Woo". That's right, woo. Does that turn you on ladies? He also notes Ambers age (too young) and how mature and together the other women are. That what we in the writing biz call, foreshadowing.

:07 - "Four women, three roses...who's dream of marrying an officer and a gentleman ends tonight?"
Cliche count -2

:08 - First home visit to Seattle with Bevin. Says Andy, "I'm in heaven when I'm with Bevin"
Dorky Andy saying count -1

:10 - Bevin starts to drop the bomb about her teen marriage with "we've all had pasts before". The look on Andy's face says "Oh no! Not genital warts!" Finding out she's only divorced will be a relief.

:12 - Andy seems to take the news okay but we're led to commercial by our good friend Chris Harrison with this gem, "will Bevin regret putting her heart on the line."
Cliche count - 2

:14 - Andy visits Bevin's family. They seem to get along great but who cares about that, they have a kickin house! If it didn't rain 364 days a year, I'd consider moving to Seattle.

:18 - This is weird, this actually seems like a real date. Right down to the mother giving the weird picture to Andy and the hot sister basically ripping off Andy's clothes with her eyes. Happened to me on all my first visits to a girlfriends house.

:19 - Andy: "I have to trust that true love will prevail". I just threw up in my mouth a little.
Dorky Andy Cunningham saying count - 2

:20 - Chris Harrison comes through again - "four women, three roses...who will go home broken hearted?"
Cliche count - 3

:23 - A visit with Danielle in Connecticut. Danielle's dad looks like Keanu Reeves father in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.

:25 - Danielle's family date ends, unfortunately they don't show the shrine in the basement to the dead college boyfriend. Take it away Chris, "Three roses, four women...one woman's dream of marrying an officer and a gentleman ends tonight!"
Cliche count - 4

:28 - Andy visits Tessa's family in snowy Washington DC. We also finally get a Colorado connection as Tessa's best friend lives in Denver. Yeah!

:32 - The second Tessa leaves the room Andy gets the Spanish Inquisition. Gee, I wonder if Tessa set that up for her sister and her best bud? Did I just write the word "gee"? I guess Andy's rubbing off on me.

:35 - Andy turns the tables and asks a legitimate question of Tessa's friends and family - Is she in it for real or just for fun? Given the fact that she doesn't really seem all that into Andy (or maybe she's just holding back) its a reasonable question. Its obvious he really likes her but if she can't open up, Andy has to let her go. There's my weekly strategy rant for the week.

:38 - Tessa's date mercifully ends. What a boring and tedious date. I have NO idea what he sees in her. She seems nice and mature but not into him at all. That and she has the head the size of an Easter Island statue. Its huge and never changes expression. We end with, "In the most emotional rose ceremony ever"
Cliche count - 5

:40 - Amber's home date in Texas is off to a bad start. In a display of blatant child abuse, Amber's students come into the room as Andy and Amber make out on a pile of stuffed, oversized footballs. Only the principal of a Texas school would allow their students to be used in a reality TV show like this.

:44 - Andy is left with no family to see as Amber's parents disapprove of her being in a show like this. (Warning!) So Andy gets to meet her roomate, who looks like Nicole Richie and calls her Amby (Warning! Warning!) and her dog that pees on the rug as everyone laughs(Warning! Warning! Warning!). Amber's aunt shows up and Amber is overly excited about it (Red Alert!). I don't care how close to your aunt you are, its not a substitute for your parents. If Andy (a guy worried about maturity and family) isn't scared away by this, he needs his head examined.

: 53 - "four women, three roses...the bachelor sends someone home in the most dramatic rose ceremony yet" Chris Harrison has really stepped up tonight.
Cliche count - 6

:54 - Quick jump to the rose ceremony. My prediction, Amber and her dysfunctional family are out.

:56 - And Amber gets the boot, who would have guessed. Was it her distant relationship with her family, her freaky Nicole Richie roommate, her bladder control challenged dog? How about all of the above.

:58 - Amber, upset that she didn't get a rose says to Andy, "I hope its not because you didn't get to meet my family." Andy replies, "Its not!" Reality says, "It is!"

Fairly decent episode, no real surprise with Amber going home and enough Chris Harrison hyberbole to keep everyone happy. Once again Andy hits the nail on the head with who he cut. Amber was too immature, probably too young for him and not quite stable enough. If the lack of any kind of family structure didn't prove that, than her irrational meltdown in the limo should have. He kept the right three.

Vegas odds on the Bachelorette Most Likely to Win Andy
2:1 Bevin - Seems honest, sincere, in this for the right reasons and most likely to sleep with Andy within the next 2 episodes.
5:1 Danielle - Mystery woman Danielle continues to get roses despite looking like a completely different person (through lack of camera time) every time I see her. Even remembering her name is hard to do.
200:1 Tessa - More wishy washy than Charlie Brown and starting to look like she's emotionally constipated.

Idol idle

Hmmm. I would have expected Bee Gees night to be a little more fun. There was hardly any disco (and wasn't LaKisha born to sing disco?). Blake and LaKisha clearly fell short -- you'd expect by this point in the competition, the remaining singers would be good enough not to have off weeks anymore. Melinda was technically superior, as always, but Jordin had more charisma, as always.

So, is it LaKisha's turn? Or does Blake have a more loyal fan base than we've thought?

With Grace's arrival, Grace fills in

Just talking to Joe Cole over at KXRM/Channel 21. His co-anchor Stephanie Pytlinski finally (well, it seems like finally) had her baby Sunday morning. Baby Grace weighed in at 6 pounds, 7 ounces.

Steph will be off 12 weeks for maternity leave with Grace, so Grace Polanski will be behind the anchor desk with Joe.

In other Fox news, Joe says he'll hire the new morning team by the middle of June and give them a month of run-throughs before the new morning news launches in July.

Heroes, counting down

Kind of a placeholder episode, albeit with some nice Sylar scenes - and they finally gave Mohinder something to do.

Reading comments elsewhere, however, revealed a few key Molly facts that are pretty cool: Molly's dad was frozen solid in Episode 2, if you were wondering when Sylar picked up that trick. Also, she's the girl Parkman saved when he first starting mind-reading. Also, "The Walker System," that Parkman, Ted and HRG are going to destroy? That would be young Ms. Molly Walker. Makes it creepy, doesn't it?

So, "Heroes" is putting some "Lost" level depth in there. I'll have to start watching more closely -- I always get a little distracted by the HD: "Ooh, pretty pictures."

Coming back for more

NBC renewed "Medium" for another season - a bit of a surprise.

And, FWIW, Oxygen is bringing back "Tori and Dean: Inn Love." OK, then.

Consider yourself warned.

"Lost" - 48 episodes

ABC officially put a time limit on "Lost": 48 more episodes spread over three seasons.

Executive producers Damon Lindelhof and Carlton Cuse have always said the series needed an ending point, and you have to think ABC is being pretty generous in giving them three season to wrap up the thicket of loose threads they've created.

I also think it's smart for ABC to shrink each season to 16 episodes and run them continuously. It makes the show event television.

I still wonder, however, whether "Lost's" ratings will be good enough to merit three more years. This is not a show that strives to bring new viewers up to date. So who's going to want to sign on now, at what it officially half-way through the story?

If you were a fan and you've drifted away, I remind you: The show's gotten good again. And now you have some reassurance that you'll see answers to your questions, if you can just wait a few more years.

Gilmore Girls gone.

Officially canceled today. I don't have much to say here: Like "7th Heaven" and "The King of Queens," it's a show that clearly outlived its prime.

"Lost" watercooler

What I liked about this one was that it was clearly the writers' "F" with the audience episode.

Before the long-awaited Sawyer-Sawyer Sr. showdown came the "Who the hell are you?" line - clearly just messing with fans who thought they had it all figured out.

Plus, the whole Cooper, "Don't you know where you are?" thing, obviously a shout-out to the many Purgatory theories floating around on the Internet.

As an aside, if Sayid's skepticism of the helicopter pilot was misplaced, does that mean we'll have to amend the "Sayid is always right" rule? Or should we assume she's a plant?

And has Kate supplanted Jack as the thickest head in the Southern Hemisphere?

Finally, what do you think about The Others' political games? Was Richard really trying to bail Locke out, or was that another Ben-engineered diversion? When's Jacob going to show up and straighten these bozos out?

Idol recap

Well, it's hard to argue with the votes. Yeah, Phil had been steadily improving, but he had a lot of ground to cover and a smaller fan base. Great way to go, though - couldn't have picked a better exit song than "Blaze of Glory."

Chris was on the edge for weeks and didn't really do enough to get a repreive, especially when Blake was the alternate choice.

Slippery when wet

Not being a big Bon Jovi fan, I'm fully prepared to hate tonight's episode.

Phil obviously enjoyed the music. Nothing more than a good karaoke performance, but you'd have to think he'd be safe after that.

Jordin just destroyed that song. Wow, that was bad. She was totally trying to channel Pat Benatar, except I think she's too young to know who Pat Benatar is. And she did a bad imitation anyway. My wife actually said "I have more respect for Bon Jovi after that." Hard to see how that went so wrong, considering...

LaKisha just nailed it. Most of that was song choice, but as my hazy recollection of the '80s has it, I think Bon Jovi had a bunch of bluesy power ballads like that, any of which should suit the show's soul singers like LaKisha. I still didn't think she connected with the song emotionally, but the power notes made up for it.

Blake - I actually liked it. I hate that "You Give Love A Bad Name" (or is it "Shot Through the Heart"?), so that may be part of it, but it seems like the kind of song that some deejay would actually cut up, remix and modernize. Plus, he sounded pretty decent on the big chorus. Also: Great haircut. He was an old, old looking 25-year-old and this is a much younger look.

Chris - I so thought this would be the week Chris headed home. And you know, could be. But that was a pretty good cover. I would have given him massive props if he could have rocked the cowboy hat, but still, he made me believe he meant what he was singing, and I never thought I would.

Melinda - Look at her rock. She's totally faking it, but doing a great job of it. I think she's backed up enough rock bands to understand how to step out and do a little rock.

Hey, George Bush giving a shout-out. Cool. He did pretty good, too. My wife -- not his biggest fan -- said, "That was tolerable."

So, two go home. Who would you pick? (No, you can't pick George and Laura). I've got to think Jordin has done enough up to this point to stick around, but there are a lot of people who vote based on the performance they just saw. Was Blake too experimental? LaKisha simply running out of luck? Phil has too small a fan base?

I have no freakin' idea. Makes me actually want to watch tomorrow night.

Wait, I've got to throw some kind of guess out there. I say: Chris and Jordin. Prove me wrong America. Prove me wrong.

Terry's "Bachelor" recap

Its Monday night and Andy is wookin pah nub in all the wrong places - on a reality TV show. Six remain, four roses, who will be left standing in this shortened by 15 minute show? Lets find out during this evenings Bachelor Running Diary.

:03 - Group date as Andy takes the women out on the boat "Stuggots." Evidently Tony Soprano owed Andy some money after betting that Randy Moss wouldn't get traded to the Patriots.

:08 - Envy rears its ugly head as Bevin grabs Andy for some alone time and the other women don't like it. I don't have a problem with it and if I'm Andy I'd actually be impressed. This is a competition right? Show me love baby, yeah!

:14 - Stephanie gets a one-on-one date with Stephanie and there's drinking involved. Unfortunately this could be the most boring date involving alcohol I have ever seen. Tasting wine, making a blend wine and flinging paint to make a label should be fun but it only leads to fake laughter, boring chit chat and shallow conversation. Buh bye Stephanie!

:17 - Uh, oh. Bevin just confessed that she's divorced. If Andy doesn't like virgins (remember the woman from the first episode), he certainly won't be up for playing the role of Husband #2 in "Days of our Bevin".

:21 - Bevin admits feeling "like a complete idiot" about her age and desperate about competing with women who are younger than her. Thank you! That's right, I called this a few weeks ago. I have now legally changed my name to Terstradamus.

:26 - Time for Andy to put on his Jimmy Carter humanitarian hat as he has the women help him clean up a playground for Kindergartners. Former Kindie teacher Arnold Schwarzenegger taunts Andy by yelling at him "Look at the girlie man and his puny biceps, he couldn't even lift up Nancy-boy Chris Harrison!"

:36 - The tear jerking moment of tonight's episode comes early as Andy says, "They didn't know there were 30 Kindergartners waiting inside their classroom waiting to come out and play on what we have created." Andy, are you serious? Do you know how hard it is to keep one 5 year old quiet let alone thirty?!?! Of course, the women act surprised and do their best to act like they give a crap.

:39 - All of the women are working these kids so hard there must have been some kind of child labor law that was violated. The worst offender? Bevin, who was trying soooo hard to look like she cared about kids I worried about their safety. Put the girl down Bevin, and no one gets hurt. Yes...we know you care about kids and would be a great Mom, just put her down!

:44 - Andy goes all out for his one-on-one with Tessa. He brings his ABC owned $250K Saleen car, about $1 million worth of jewelry and stops by some fancy store to rent Tessa a dress. You know, kind of like high school prom.

:48 - Andy seems to enjoy the whole chase thing with Tessa, which would explain why he's attracted to someone who doesn't really seem too into the reality show scene. She seems the most real of all the women left so I guess it makes sense. That being said, Andy seems more into her than she is into him. This, of course, is the complete opposite with him and Bevin. My money's on Bevin. Why? Guys like women who pay attention to them, so while "the chase" has Andy intrigued, if Tessa doesn't come around why would Andy choose her when he can have someone's undivided attention. Gaah!!! I did it again! Strategizing "The Bachelor"? Someone please help me!

:56 - 1:03 - Rose Ceremony cocktail party time. Here's what we learn: Andy appreciates that Bevin is into him (duh), Tina needs to show Andy some "affection" so that he knows she really likes him (gotta give the guy a little play), Tessa's play it cool act has Andy wrapped around her finger, Danielle (despite having the least camera time in "Bachelor" history) still has Andy interested, Stephanie doesn't dream enough for Andy so he gives her a prescription for Ambien.

1:07 - Rose Ceremony time. Terstradamus predicts Tina and Stephanie are going home. Tina doesn't put out and Stephanie needs a couple of years to come up with some dreams besides leaving Kansas and finding a doctor to marry.

1:10 - The best moment of the night as Andy has to be reminded by The Count, aka Chris Harrison, that he has only 1 rose left. Um, yeah. Thanks for the help there Chris. I wouldn't have been able to count down from FOUR without you.

1:11 - Once again Terstradamus has been proven correct as Tina and Stephanie are nicely told by Chris Harrison to pack their sh** and get the hell out. Too bad my powers don't translate to anything useful like the lottery or the stock market.

1:12 - Preview of next weeks episode as the four remaining women take Andy home to meet their parents (or in Amber's case, to sit at a playground while her parents embarrass their daughter), should be interesting. We are also blessed with a "the most dramatic finale ever" cliche from Chris Harrison. Finally!

Quick recap - Problems so far with this season. 1. Not enough drinking. 2. No one really conniving woman to make things interesting. 3. No hooking up to help make the other women jealous 4. Andy has about as much personality as a cactus. 5. Not nearly enough Chris Harrison cliches.

Top 3 Bachelorettes Most Likely to Win Andy
1. Tessa - She remains the front runner despite not being particularly attractive and having no discernable skills besides playing hard to get.
2. Bevin - The woman most likely to sleep with Andy in order to get to the final two.
3. Amber - If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times. Teachers always go far in this show.